i just lost my dear uncle  ...i was in denial for the last 3 days ...i  was hoping that this is just a bad dream and soon I will wake up and my uncle will be alive..but it is not a dream  he is really gone...i miss him and i cant talked to him forever.....i even cant remember the last time i saw him

Iwent through the whole funeral putting on my brave mask....MY heart is BREAKING .I  hyperventilate every once and while but everything under control....I always try to prevent my self to get emotional or to cry ...because whenever  I ALLOW MY SELF TO EXPRESS sadness ...i go into a melt down that could physically sicken me for long long time....

He was a healthy and kind middle aged man ....i do not even know why and how he died...i did  not asked and no one is telling ....

His mobile still ringing...i call him ... i hear his sweet voice in his voice mail...." Salam ,thank you for calling me , please leave your message and i will call you back ...you know I ALWAYS DO , bye talked to you later" ....

RIP uncle Ahmad...I love you....